in the realm of the fictionman

Sex Bracelets?

So there's hoopla about those jelly bracelets Madonna made big in the 80s. Apparently they're The Hot Thing again. And some kids are calling them sex bracelets. Pull one of the bracelets off, and you get basically a coupon for a sex act. Color-coded and everything. Apparently you can get pretty much anything you want if you can get the right color.

Is it real or urban legend? Opinions vary. CNN seems to lean to myth. NBC found several kids to confirm it. So, it does seem to be real at least among a probable minority. Probably a small minority, but those tend to be the ones to get the attention.

A couple of thoughts immediately come to mind. For one, man, did I miss out as a kid! :-)

So, as my public service for today, I offer the solution.

If your child is wearing these bracelets, it doesn't mean the kid is promiscuous, or even having any. So don't confront the child, that'll just cause problems. Similarly, don't take them away. They might just be a harmless fashion fad.

Instead, get some yourself. You and your spouse wear them around the house for a couple evenings. The kids will either think you're trying to be hip and don't get it, or they'll get grossed out, and they'll stop wearing them. If that doesn't do it:

1. snap a bracelet off your spouse
2. look at said spouse, smile and say, "Uh oh, you know what that means..."
3. You both look to the child and say, "Excuse us, we'll be back in about half an hour." Then vanish to the bedroom for half an hour. Have really loud sex if you want to make certain.

Problem solved.

Posted by fictionman at May 25, 2004 09:48 PM | TrackBack (0)