January 31, 2007
I've Never...
Something earlier got me thinking about different things I've never done. Here are some of them:
- I've never had a reserved parking spot.
- I've never been recognized in public.
- I've never been to a party where the cops showed up.
- I've never had neighbors complain about me being loud.
- I've never been to the kind of party where the hosts keep everybody's keys.
- I've never known the kind of people for me to host such a party.
- I've never woken up in an unknown place after drinking.
- I've never owned a new car.
- I've never ordered food at a restaurant without considering the price.
- I've never ordered the most expensive thing on the menu.
- I've never submitted anything to a contest.
- I've never spoken in front of an audience with a microphone.
- I've never attended any kind of political rally.
- I've never been on TV.
- I've never called a radio station.
- I've never taken music or singing lessons (other than grade school chorus class, which doesn't count).
- I've never been Employee of the Month or been recognized on a company bulletin board.
- I've never pulled over to help a stranded motorist.
- I've never worked for an annual salary.
- I've never attended a local government meeting.
- I've never been in anyone's wedding party (obviously my own doesn't count).
- I've never smoked a cigarette or done drugs.
- I've never committed an act of public vandalism.
- I've never been on a cruise.
- I've never left the continent.
- I've never gone on vacation by myself.
- I've never had a professional massage.
- I've never intentionally done something embarassing in public.
- I've never sang karaoke
- I've never been called to provide a job reference for someone else.
- I've never worked in a managerial capacity.
- I've never had a song dedicated to me on the radio.
- I've never hitchhiked.
- I've never snuck into a movie without paying.
- I've never had to wear a tie every day.
- I've never had my stomach pumped.
- I've never been to a Halloween costume party.
- I've never invited neighbors to a party.
- I've never been to the opera.
- I've never sky dived or bungee jumped.
- I've never flown an aircraft.
- I've never ridden in a limosine.
Posted by fictionman at January 31, 2007 10:39 PM
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Where's the 'things I've done' list? I think it's good you haven't done some of those things, they set you apart from the masses. As for the rest, I'll give you a smoke, hire a limo to drop you off at a movie theatre where you can sneak in the back as a movie is ending then sneak into a show. On the way back, crash a party, get real drunk, pass out, and forget where you are when you wake up. Get rushed to the ER, have your stomach pumped.. Er.. wait.. nevermind. But.. if you want, we can save up some money, and for a birthday present, we'll send you on a cruise by yourself, to another continent. Maybe you can go to Amsterdam where you can get a professional massage, and then stop into a cafe for some dope smoking, then grab a limo and go to a restaurant where you can buy the most expensive thing on the menu, without considering the price. It's gonna take a while for everyone to save up, but I mean.. if it's what you want.. ;P I'm not sure the wife or parental units will entirely appreciate, but hey, we can't all get what we want. :P